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With the divorce rate fluctuating close to 50%, most partners today have to take active steps to stop divorce and save their marriage from disaster. The impression given today is that most marriages won’t succeed. Initially, when most partners met, priorities were minimal, outside the focus of each other. Unfortunately life happens, with all its stresses, which take their toll on the relationship.

Research has shown, that one of the best predictors of divorce is how couples resolve conflict. If we as a couple are able to resolve these life issues in a compatible manner, then the chances of us staying together are much greater than those that struggle with conflict resolution. Always try to remember, that winning comes at a price. If I’m the type of partner that feels he or she has to win this argument, then that interpretation means that somebody has to lose. If we make our partners feel like losers, then the natural tendency would be for one to escape that pain.

Here are some helpful tips on how to stop your divorce and save your marriage.

1. What are you doing to contaminate your current relationship?

Do you have your own baggage and issues that you brought with you into this relationship? It is always a good thing to take a look in the mirror and see what we are doing to put a strain on the relationship. Am I dealing with my own struggles in a healthy manner, or am I beginning to act out and project my shortcomings onto my partner. This is easier said then done, as overcoming one’s ego and taking accountability for my own flaws is one of the biggest struggles in a marriage.

2. Are you distancing yourself emotionally from your partner?

Many individuals when feeling stressed in a relationship put up the proverbial “emotional wall” so to say. This invisible wall is actually a defense mechanism that attempts to shield us from additional pain and/or confrontation. Unfortunately when we distance ourselves from our partners, the bond that was once strong and unbreakable begins to crack. There are many men and women who use this defense quite frequently, as they escape into their isolation with the old saying,”I don’t want to hear it”.

3. Communication in a relationship is really important.

Probably one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship is how each partner communicates. When either partner begins “tuning out” the other so to say, the relationship takes on a different meaning. Initially, we talked about everything. The discussions never appeared threatening, and just hearing each others voices seem to ease the pain of life’s daily events. Unfortunately as time went by, the communication became less and more superficial and nature. This can happen for many reasons, as in many instances the communication has become focused on negative issues and stresses in life. Again, what usually happens is the old,” I don’t want to hear it” routine, that shuts many partners down. Try to get back to talking about the little things in life, even if it’s the weather of what a beautiful day it is. Keep the conversation simple, and focused on your partner with the love you have for him or her.

4. You mean it’s not really all about me?

Many couples today look at a relationship as a business proposition. Some come into the relationship believing it should be a fifty-fifty proposition. You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. That might work for a while, but eventually one partner might be doing more in the relationship than the other. Relationships seem to cycle in amounts of specific duties and tasks for each partner as life changes. If I suddenly get the impression that I’m coming up on the”short end of the stick”so to say, then I might become soured and not put in significant effort to keep the relationship healthy. There really is no way around it, relationships require sacrifice, and I might actually have to do more in this relationship to keep it going and on an even keel. Selfish individuals struggle with that concept, and subsequently the relationship suffers. Putting your partner first. That is one belief that goes a long way in keeping peace in the relationship, and one of main ways of how to stop your divorce and save your marriage.

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